jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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