It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
