I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
