my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i believe in u and ur pee
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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