so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
