yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
