But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
