so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so explain again why im purple
no
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
