Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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