after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
