I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
