One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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