I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
time to smoke my breakfast
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
