I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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