There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
why didn't you poke me back
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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