so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
