I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
