True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
