i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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