You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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