She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
