Cold hands, warm shart.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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