I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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