if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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