Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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