dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
