Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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