My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
