Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
