Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
