I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
