You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
