You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It's just like the Real World with babies
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
