i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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