Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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