marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
