im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize