well I can't set my house on fire every night
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There r osticjed everywhere
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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