shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I have surprise drugs for everyone
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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