i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
