I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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