I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
