I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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