Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
