I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
