Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize