I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
