He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
