The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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