Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
