Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
my liver is dry heaving
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
