Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
