my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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