I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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