PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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