Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Randomize
