The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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