stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
