Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize