I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
you never un-have a 4some
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
