Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
