I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
