dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
