In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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