By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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