omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
