How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
