I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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