Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
