im drinking this country out of the recession.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
