If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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